Looking for garden decor that doesn’t scream plastic gnome at a garage sale? Let me show you how I made totally natural-looking cement mushrooms using pantyhose, cement, and a healthy dose of “what am I doing with my life.”
I Usually Go Bright… But Then Nature Called
Listen. I’m a sucker for bold, colorful, borderline-obnoxious garden decor. You know, flamingos, glitter paint, ceramic frogs that may or may not double as ashtrays. But this time, something inside me whispered, “Do mushrooms.” Not eat them (relax), just… make them.
And not just any mushrooms—cement mushrooms. With pantyhose. I’m fully aware that sounds like I lost a bet, but stay with me. These turned out surprisingly elegant, earthy, and dare I say… expensive-looking? Plus, they won’t blow over in a light breeze or melt in the sun. Which is more than I can say for that glitter butterfly I tried last summer. RIP. Although, DIY tree stumps looks great in my flower bed.
Materials You’ll Need (Or Panic Buy at 9 PM)
- Cheap pantyhose (the cheaper, the better—no regrets)
- Plastic bottle (cut into a ring—more on that mess later)
- Cement
- Sand
- Water (tap is fine, don’t overthink it)
- A bucket (bonus points if it has mysterious crust from an old project)
- Gloves (unless you enjoy looking like you lost a thumb war with concrete)
- Primer
- Acrylic paint: brown, dark brown, ochre, black, white
- Exterior-grade varnish (because Mother Nature is ruthless)
Step By Step Guide
First I mix up my batch: 2 parts sand, 1 part cement, 0.7–0.8 parts water. Stir until it looks like chunky pudding and question your life choices.
Cut a ring off an old plastic bottle to stretch the opening of the pantyhose—this makes stuffing cement inside slightly less like wrestling a wet octopus. Put the pantyhose over the plastic ring and start stuffing it like you’re prepping a holiday turkey. Shape it into a mushroom stem. Roll it on the table if you want it smooth. Or just squish it into submission like I did.
To shape the stem, I suspended it between two buckets using a plank of wood. It looked like some weird survival trap, but it worked. As it hung, the cement settled into a natural-looking, tapered stem. I stood there proud, like I had just invented fire. Then I let it sit for at least 24 hours. (Pro tip: Don't poke it every hour to see if it’s dry. Ask me how I know.).
Peel off the pantyhose like you’re undressing a statue. Gently. Lovingly. Like it just came home from a hard day of being a mushroom. If you spot any lumpy bits or mystery textures, hit it with sandpaper. Then, give it a layer of primer. Don’t skip this or the paint will just flake off in the rain like a bad manicure.
Repeat the pantyhose trick, but this time, shape the cement into a squashed sphere. Not too squishy though—otherwise it turns into a pancake. Tie the pantyhose tight so it holds its form. Then cut a slit on the underside and slide it onto the stem (which you hopefully didn’t break in a fit of impatience). I dampened the stem first so everything would bond together like old friends. Also, hide the knotted end of the pantyhose to the side or underneath. No one wants to see the mushroom’s ponytail. Let that monstrosity sit again. Go drink something cold. You earned it.
Time to make it look like an actual mushroom and not a concrete mistake. I mixed warm browns with a touch of black.
I covered the whole cap. Looked pretty gross at first, like muddy pudding.
But then I added ochre with a sponge to the bottom of the cap, then more ochre, then just ochre. Kept layering until it looked like something you’d find growing next to a fallen log. Mission accomplished. I didn’t wait for each layer to dry. I just painted wet-on-wet like a rebel. Paint blended beautifully, and also I have no patience. There. I said it.
Once the cap dried, I moved to the stem. I mixed white and yellow ochre and just slapped it on there.
Then darkened the mix with a little brown and added subtle streaks near the bottom. Suddenly, it looked like it had texture. Like nature made it. But better. Because nature doesn’t prime and seal.
When everything's totally dry and you're tired of explaining to neighbors what you're doing with all these weird grey blobs, seal the whole thing with outdoor varnish. A generous coat. Maybe two if you’re feeling fancy.
Put the mushrooms out in your flower bed. Under a tree. Along the garden path. Anywhere that needs a little fairytale but without the kitsch.
Let. It. Dry. Seriously. Don’t rush it. You’ll crack something—emotionally or structurally.
Want a jumbo mushroom? Go wild with tights. Or leggings. Go mushroom big or go home.
Cheap pantyhose = textured surface. Classy pantyhose = expensive mistake.
Final thoughts
So yeah, I made mushrooms out of cement and pantyhose, and they didn’t just turn out okay—they turned out awesome. Natural, sturdy, and slightly absurd (which is exactly my vibe). Now, I need to know I’m not the only one mixing paint like a forest witch with a Pinterest board. Btw, these aren’t first cement garden mushrooms I made.